Chuggy quest for love continue.
Chuggy thwarted once again.
Chuggy no post online ad ever,
But Chuggy respond two ads.
People no write Chuggy back.
Chuggy think rude.
Chuggy spend time make thoughtful reply.
Put Chuggy self out there.
Chuggy no think Chuggy ever no be alone.

Chuggy enjoy 4 day weekend again!
Chuggy, Colonel and Marcus go Mexican food and I Am Legend 2nite.
Chuggy think better than stay home.
Chuggy throw office party today.
Buy shrimps and sparkling wine.
Chuggy coworkers no have fun ever- drink water.
Chuggy have drink all sparkling wine by Chuggy self.
Chuggy no really mind though.

Chuggy Christmas wonderful!
Batshit family have fun with Chuggy - Christmas miracle!!!
Chuggy take half day today, nice nap.
Now Chuggy wonder, what next?
Chuggy have New Year Party,
Start work on Chuggy resolutions.
Chuggy must think much about resolution.

Chuggy family fucking bat shit.
Make Chuggy neck stiff.
Christmas stress Chuggy.
Chuggy want drop out, go on vacation.
Chuggy in law say uncharitable thing about Chuggy.
Chuggy face red and Chuggy mad.
Chuggy smile and give presents tomorrow.
Then Chuggy meet Colonel and drink lots.
Chuggy feel like Grinch stole Christmas.

Say Chuggy, "HO - HO - HO!"
Merry Christmas Chuggy friends!
Chuggy busy make list, check twice, then say fuck this shit and buy whatever.
Chuggy love Christmas!
Chuggy give and Chuggy get!
More better than Chuggy give, get no thing!
Jesus no on Chuggy list.
Jesus no come through for Chuggy on Powerball, so Chuggy say Jesus, "SUCK IT!"
Chuggy friends no forget Chuggy New Year Eve Party!
Chuggy big spender!!!
Colt 45 for all Chuggy friends!!!!!
Chuggy C U there!!!!

Long time no see, Chuggy friends!
Chuggy sorry Chuggy so busy!
So, what new in Chuggy life?
No too much.
Chuggy work on landscape company with Hippie.
Chuggy get f*&ked over by Chits.
Chuggy heart hurt, but Chuggy move on.
Chuggy survivor!
Chuggy babysit nephews lots.
Chuggy have little crush on Starbucks guy.
Chuggy have RAGING crush on kayak guy.
Chuggy bro no help Chuggy though.
Chuggy think, WTF bro, help a sister out!
What Chuggy do?
Chuggy no can know.
Chuggy also look forward Christmas time.
Chuggy love day off work!
Even if day off for Jesus!

Chuggy think long time Chuggy no blog!
Chuggy busy new business venture with Hippie friend!
Chuggy and Hippie start landscape company!
Chuggy think big money! Huge success!

Chuggy make fresh start.
True, Chuggy hungover, but Chuggy out with old, in with new.
Chuggy new attitude mean take no shit.
Chuggy take care of Chuggy self.
Chuggy heartbroken again, but Chuggy resilient.

Chuggy mucho mejor amigos!!!
Weekend renew Chuggy spirit.
Chuggy get tanked tonight, watch baseball!
Who want get tanked with Chuggy?

Chuggy shit week finally over.
Chuggy buddy Eric die at work on Tuesday.
Heavy granite slabs kill Eric.
Chuggy sad for Eric and family.
Chuggy think life not fair.
Chuggy think death no fair either.
Chuggy wish best to Eric and family.

Chuggy heartbroken again, although Chuggy admit Chuggy too sensitive.
Chuggy no like when Chits no give Chuggy kindness and respect.
For this reason, Chuggy think Chuggy decide life of celibacy.
Then Chuggy heart no can break again.
Tonight Colonel and Chuggy rent movies, have popcorn-percocet-pity-party.

On other note, Chuggy think Chuggy have crush on Jolly friend.
Chuggy no know Jolly friend well enough to know for sure though.
Chuggy think Jolly friend should hang out with Chuggy more.
Then Chuggy see if chemistry or no.
Chuggy guess Jolly friend nice, no like Chits.

Chits take Chuggy secret treasure, no call Chuggy 7 days.
Chuggy no like.
Chuggy deserve more respect.
Chits no can be worthy Chuggy.
Chuggy regret let Chits take treasure.
Ok, maybe Chuggy no really regret.

Chuggy decide go back to school like Rodney Dangerfield!
Chuggy goal database analyst certification.
Chuggy finish by summer 2009!
Wish Chuggy good luck!

Chuggy regret Chuggy no finish college degree.
What Chuggy do now?

Chuggy angry.
Chuggy boss say Chuggy steal money!
Chuggy no steal money!
Chuggy boss make mistake, apologize.
Chuggy still mad.
Chuggy update resume.

So Chuggy friend Chits send Chuggy text message.
Chuggy no sure why.
Chuggy think cryptic.
Chuggy may need investigate.

Chuggy hung-over.
No, Chuggy still drunk.
Chuggy party like rock star.
Chuggy pass out like loser.
Chuggy want thank all Chuggy friends come party!
Chuggy have good fun!

Chuggy proud!
Chuggy nephews born!
Gabriel and Tristan!

Chuggy no like Chits no more.
Chuggy think, at least whore get paid.
Chuggy only get stood up on birthday.
Why Chits stand Chuggy up?
Why Chits cock bag?
Why Chuggy no can understand men?
Chuggy think just give up.

Chuggy 30 today!!!
Chuggy have mid life crisis.
Chuggy friend say, " Chuggy too young mid life crisis"
Chuggy say, "Chuggy life half over if Chuggy no can quit cigarettes"
Chuggy friends agree.
Chuggy need shake thing up.
Chuggy need make change.

Chuggy worry Chuggy friend Chits.
Chits no call Chuggy on weekend.
Chits in jail?
Chits lose phone?
Chits wreck motorcycle?
Chuggy no can think other excuse.
Chits better call Chuggy tomorrow or Chuggy mad, not worried.

Chuggy want drop out, open coffee shop.
How Chuggy procure start up dough?
Chuggy think Chuggy already mortgaged to hilt.
Chuggy need ponder, research SBA.

Chuggy consider Maslow hierarchy of need,
Chuggy try self actualize.
Chuggy buy corduroy boot cut pant online instead.

Chuggy friend Chits take Chuggy on unexpected date.
Chits take Chuggy Rockies game against Padres and Bros. BBQ.
It no get much better in Chuggy book.
Chuggy have big fun, like Chits lots.

Chuggy glad Friday night.
Chuggy uninspired, unproductive at work.
Chuggy have favorite new website for read at work:
http://www.someecards.com/

Chuggy new friend Chits send Chuggy scandalous text messages.
Chuggy think, modern romance?
Technology color everything, Chuggy think.

So Chuggy and Berger get shit canned once again.
Chuggy see Snookums.
Snookums giant asshole prick, Chuggy think.
Upside, Chuggy meet fantastic man, Chits, have lots of fun.
Chuggy have sweet, sweaty, romantic night.
Chuggy think good times!!!!
Besides, a little revenge love never hurt Chuggy!
Chuggy naughty.

hi

Chuggy and Colonel win $22.00 play scratch games.
Chuggy trade $20.00 for powerball tickets.
Chuggy think Chuggy get personal trainer, retire soon, if win.
Chuggy really need win powerball.
Chuggy try pray God before, but God no answer Chuggy prayer for win powerball.
Chuggy ponder pray Devil instead.
Chuggy no mind do Devil's work.
No different than most Chuggy jobs.

Chuggy nurse hangover.
Chuggy, J and Ginger big night on town.
First eat Red Square, many vodka shots.
Garlic vodka Chuggy new favorite!
Pickle chaser!
Then jazz band, more drinks at Trios.
Chuggy wanna boogie.
Music so good!
Chuggy cab it home like good Chuggy.
Ginger scat: "YA-YA-YOWWWWW!"

Chuggy sour.
Chuggy think Chuggy might cry.
Suddenly, Chuggy no like Chuggy life.
Chuggy no want work no more.
Responsibilities crush Chuggy.
Chuggy want be rich, care-free, sleep in.
Chuggy think new day tomorrow.
Chuggy hope Chuggy like Chuggy life better tomorrow.

Chuggy wonder, why so easy gain wait?
So hard lose weight?
Make Chuggy angry when Chuggy finish wondering.

Chuggy suffer much.
Chuggy diet again.
Chuggy hope Chuggy can continue.
Chuggy so hungry.

Chuggy internet friend GBH make funny post other site.
Discussion about AC/DC.
People make fun GBH for admit play air keyboard.
Chuggy think so funny, Chuggy copy, paste:

"please dude, i've discussed sweatpants boners, my fat face, my insanity, my drinking and drug habits, my struggles with the opposite sex, and probably 100 other idiosyncracies. the first week of my new job i walked into a wall and split my head open. i bought a new car a couple months ago and sideswiped a car on my block 2 days after buying it, and the car i hit was my other car. i went to a personal trainer two weeks ago and was so out of shape i puked in the water fountain and then had to lay on a bench in the handicap shower that's covered in ass germs and then had to argue with an actual handicapped person about how long i was taking and that at that moment i was actually more handicapped than he was. i went to see air supply last month and actually teared up during "the one that you love". i can go on and on with this shit, doesn't even phase me any more it's so commonplace. i'm fucking proud of my air keyboarding, you should be lucky enough to be in my passenger seat when "jump", "everytime you go away", or "separate ways" graces the stereo."
-GBH

Chuggy google Chuggy for vanity.
Chuggy find what Chuggy name means:

"chuggy is the spirit of being young, irresponsible, out of control, and not caring what other people think.

chuggy comes from the myth of Chuggy D. Smith, the man who's spirit is at the heart of everything that ever gets a little crazy. Chuggy is the spirit that kicked the devil off your shoulder because he wasnt having enough fun!"

Chuggy favorite nicknames:

Chuggs
Chuggles
Chugglesworth
Chuggernaut
Chuggy Chitlins
Chugglenut
Chuglet
Chuggets
Chuggers

Ginger take Chuggy and Colonel Rockies game 2night!!!
Chuggy no care about Rockies, but Chuggy love drink beer.
Chuggy think, good times, good friends!
Tomorrow, Chuggy need throw baby shower.
Busy weekend Chuggy.

Chuggy be 30 years old soon.
Chuggy wonder life half over?
If Chuggy no can quit smoking, answer yes.
Chuggy have HUGE party for turn 30.
All Chuggy friends need come!
Chuggy make invitation soon!

Like Chumbawumba say:
Chuggy get knock down,
But Chuggy get up again,
You never gonna keep Chuggy down.

Chuggy seek validate feelings.
Chuggy think relational social psychology attachment theory suit Chuggy needs.
Chuggy define Chuggy psychopathology as insecure anxious/preoccupation attachment pattern.
Eg, Why Snookums no want Chuggy?
Chuggy too fat?
Chuggy smoke too much?
Chuggy no worth love?
Chuggy cognizant Chuggy self doubt from Snookums threaten Chuggy positive mental model of attachment.
Why Snookums piss on Chuggy model?
Chuggy hard wired want attach.
Chuggy ancestors keen to sign of rejection.
If Chuggy ancestors rejected, no with group for hunt mastadon, ancestors die alone in cold.

Chuggy wonder, if Chuggy caveman, how Chuggy more evolved than Snookums?
Or average man for that matter?

Chuggy need move toward more integrative model.

Chuggy more better now.
Chuggy Dr. give Chuggy thyroid Rx.
Make Chuggy more peppy.

Chuggy no can sleep.

Chuggy feel rough.
Hard day for Chuggy
Chuggy disappointed.
Chuggy feelings hurt.
Chuggy wonder why Chuggy no ability find nice man.
Sure, Chuggy friends great, but why Chuggy no can find love?
Why Snookums treat Chuggy like bitch?
Chuggy only ever nice to Snookums.
Too nice maybe.
Chuggy move on.
Try remember Chuggy friends love Chuggy.

How quickly events turn.
Long Chuggy story short-
Chuggy and Berger get fucking shit canned yesterday.
Berger find Snookums.
Berger tell Snookums Snookums cock bag.
Mayhem ensue.
Berger rip Snookums new one, then some.
Chuggy no have worry Snookums call or no call.
Snookums definitely no call Chuggy.

Chuggy friend Berger get drunk, lose things.
Like North Face jacket, cell phone and virginity!
LOL! LOL! LOL!

Chuggy have wonder,
Floyd obesity cause Chuggy bad back?
Floyd 15.9 pounds!
EL GORDO!
Just like Chuggy - he he.
Chuggy pick Floyd up constantly.
Sure, Floyd no like, but Chuggy pick up anyway.
Chuggy think problem for Chuggy and Floyd.
Chuggy institute new fitness regime.

Chuggy have appointment go see Dr. head shrinker.
No thing wrong with Chuggy-
Chuggy only need Rx keep Chuggy that way.
Sometimes Chuggy used get sad, no want take shower, no want get out of Chuggy bed.
Rx make better.
Only thing, Chuggy no have problems now.
Chuggy and Dr. no have no thing for talk about.
For years, no have things talk about.
Chuggy Dr. talk about fly fishing.
Chuggy talk about vacation, river rafting.
Chuggy think what point?
Just mail Chuggy Rx.
Chuggy like Dr. though.
Dr. like talk Chuggy too.
Even if no therapeutic value evident talking about cell phone providers, GPS navigation systems, solar powered homes, or kitchen remodels.
Chuggy think insurance company no want pay if know what go on-
Like having coffee with buddy, but give buddy co-pay at end.

Chuggy friend Berger come Chuggy house today.
Berger help clean Chuggy mess for money.
Chuggy remodel turn Chuggy house upside down.
Chuggy need all help Chuggy get.
Other Chuggy friends want weed Chuggy garden???
As Chuggy friends know, Chuggy gifted writer-
Lackluster housekeeper.

Where Chuggy friend Bruce?
Chuggy hear Bruce travel Thailand.
Chuggy hope Bruce no not ok.
Chuggy wish Bruce send Chuggy email.
Maybe Chuggy friend Bruce very busy.

Chuggy hot shit.
Any Chuggy friends disagree?

Chuggy and Colonel watch excellent film!
Chuggy friends see Snakes On A Plane?
Chuggy say A +!
Chuggy do impressive Samuel L. impression!
"BAD ASS MUTHFUCKIN' SNAKES ON A PLANE, BITCH!"
Make Colonel laugh till Colonel face very read.
Chuggy think all Chuggy friends need watch!

Chuggy call cousin Josh,
Talk over Filemaker Pro software Chuggy want develop.
Chuggy in awe.
Cousin Josh so smart! So cool!
Cousin Josh explain Chuggy everything.
Chuggy confident Chuggy develop good program.
If Josh no Chuggy cousin, Chuggy think marry Josh.
Chuggy no know no one so smart!
But no, Chuggy no live in Appalachia, so Chuggy and Josh just family!
Chuggy funny!
Chuggy LOL!

Where Chuggy begin?
Chuggy have wild crazy Friday night!
Chuggy and Ginger eat dinner.
Chuggy and Ginger drink beers.
Meet with Colonel, J, Hippie and Berger.
Chuggy see man across bar, think know him, then think no.
Man find Chuggy say hi.
Snookums???
Chuggy friends remember Snookums break Chuggy heart three years ago.
Chuggy no see no talk Snookums since.
Chuggy think big surprise.
Snookums want Chuggy body, Chuggy think no.
Snookums come bowling Chuggy and friends.
Chuggy (GASP) go home Snookums' house.
Chuggy still honorable Chuggy though.
What Chuggy thinking?
Snookums only break Chuggy heart again.
Unless Chuggy no let heart break.

Chuggy vey busy week!
First Chuggy remodel kitchen-
Then Chuggy have brilliant Chuggy idea!
Chuggy want develop new software!
Chuggy no can give away ideas.
Chuggy think many people like Chuggy software.
Chuggy think make Chuggy rich.
Chuggy need find smart developer partner Chuggy.
Chuggy cousin Josh should partner Chuggy.
Another grand Chuggy idea!!!

Chuggy have day of guilty pleasure...
First Chuggy take nap.
Then Chuggy eat fondue at Big Red's house.
Then Chuggy go iTunes with reckless Chuggy abandon.
Now Chuggy stay awake past bedtime.
Chuggy listen to Wonder Stuff and sing along!

J and Ginger busy social schedule!
Chuggy miss J and Ginger : (
J and Ginger photo comfort Chuggy hard times.

Chuggy feel remodel pressure.
Chuggy schedule slipping.
Chuggy drywaller no show up two days in row.
Chuggy cabinet install set back.
Which mean Chuggy granite set back.
Which mean Chuggy plumbing, electrical set back.
Which mean Chuggy tile set back.
Chuggy want punch drywaller in head.
Chuggy need watch temper!

Chuggy soon have Chuggy nephews!
Twins!
Chuggy want be twin's favorite Chuggy!
Chuggy no can wait to spoil little babies!
Buy babies everything!
Feed babies candy when no one look!
Make babies smile with fart noises!
Read babies, Me Write Book: It Bigfoot Memoir!

Chuggy friend Floyd need rescue.
Floyd climb tree, no can get down.
Floyd scared.
Chuggy try help Floyd.
Make long Chuggy story short-
Floyd give Chuggy attitude-
Floyd make Chuggy fall-
Chuggy take Floyd with-
Chuggy and Floyd cheat death.
Maybe Floyd learn no climb tree no more.

Chuggy laugh diabolically

Chuggy head spin with kitchen remodel
Why Chuggy professionalism and expertise no can translate Chuggy personal choices?
Chuggy no can decide what color granite counter.
Even more bad, Chuggy no can decide backsplash.
Chuggy no interior designer, but Chuggy make decide for clients everyday.
Why Chuggy no can decide for Chuggy?

Chuggy go good cause fund raiser last night
Chuggy surprised see man from across pond
Remember?
Man who really mean no further contact?
Chuggy think awkward.
Chuggy try say hello, be polite.
Man just look at Chuggy, no talk.
Chuggy have sit same table as man.
Chuggy want crawl out of Chuggy skin.
Chuggy wish Chuggy take back bad things Chuggy say about man.
Chuggy nice person.
No contact man nice person too.
Chuggy hate when people think Chuggy asshole.

Chuggy compadres Leonel y Heriberto demo Chuggy kitchen
Chuggy say MUCHAS MUCHAS GRACIAS!
Chuggy y amigos drink cervezas later.
Chuggy afraid what behind fridge.
Chuggy worst fear true when Chuggy look...
Mouse poo!!!
Why mouse come Chuggy house, Chuggy no can know
Chuggy house no dirty.
Mouse no can survive Chuggy house anyway.
Chuggy have Floyd and Pax -
Stone cold mouse killas, say Chuggy!

Chuggy go out lady night tonight!
Chuggy no can wait for fun!
Chuggy drink much beer, smoke cigarette!
Talk too much!
Maybe Chuggy make new friend for move in!
Chuggy need marry so Chuggy afford mortgage.
Even better, Chuggy think need find contractor marry!
Do all Chuggy work for Chuggy AND pay mortgage!
Maybe Chuggy friend think Chuggy gold-digger?
Chuggy think Chuggy pragmatic approach to love.

Home Depot take advantage Chuggy
Chuggy think Chuggy pay for everything
Chuggy say, "Chuggy pay everything?"
Lady say yes
Lady lie to Chuggy face
Now Chuggy need pay for install cabinets too
Chuggy mad
And poor

Chuggy have rethink vegetarianism
Today Chuggy eat cucumber, tomato and banana
Chuggy no can remember be so hungry
Chuggy think Chuggy need turkey at lunch
Chuggy dilemma - love animals, but love eat animals too
Chuggy need ponder

Chuggy make decide go vegetarian again
Chuggy conscience no can allow eat meat no more
Chuggy love all animals-
No can kill and devour
Chuggy still eat fish though
Chuggy no can feel sorry for fishies
Beside, Chuggy think fish delicious!
Chuggy think bacon good too - no Chuggy must draw line.

Chuggy retorno Cancun today!
Chuggy have minor sunburn, but lucky, no Montezuma Revenge!
Chuggy have big fun but homesick too.
Chuggy miss Floyd, Pax and Herky so much!
Chuggy have nightmare lagoon crocodile eat Pax.
Chuggy exited see Pax still alive!
Chuggy try make picture post soon.
Chuggy and Colonel have new catchphrase like:
FUCK THIS COCK SHIT!
PINA NUTHIN!
HASTA NUNCA PUTOS!
Yediditferyerself!
Chuggy explain later.
Chuggy also participate in beer drinking contest,
sink karaoke for many people, snorkel too.
Chuggy meet compadres named Chucho and Chucky!
Laugh at silly names.
Adios amigos!

Hola Putos!
Voy a Mexico en Viernes!
Cancun!
Nueve dias!
Yo tomar todo el dia-
Y de fiesta toda la noche!
Me gusta pistiar cervesas en la piscina todos los dias!
Hasta luego gringos!!!
-Chuggos

Chuggy go late night jam session!
Like karaoke but real music!
J play guitar like rock God.
Joe amazing!
Chuggy never see one arm man play bass before!
Chuggy scat to blues jam!
Chuggy think great fun!
Chuggy so drunk Chuggy eat Taco Bell.
Chuggy know full measure of intoxication when eat Taco bell.

Tonight Chuggy go see Simpsons on big screen!
Opening night!
Chuggy no can remember life before Simpsons.
Simpsons on TV for two third of Chuggy life - long time!
Simpsons make Chuggy sentimental.
Chuggy and long time dead lost love watch Simpsons together for hours.
No commercials.
Chuggy think romantic.
Chuggy remember good times.
Chuggy think Simpsons open tonight in heaven so all dead people will laugh, eat popcorn.
Chuggy always remember.

Chemistry.com add insult to injury!
Chuggy feel angry!
First, all Chuggy matches ugly, socially retarded.
Second, Chemistry.com debit Chuggy bank account $49.95.
Chuggy sharp- Chuggy have online bank - see charge.
Chuggy call demand refund!
Chuggy no agree pay $49.95!
Chuggy sign up one pathetic month only!
Chemistry.com tell Chuggy no refund.
Chuggy say deceptive user terms!
Take advantage of consumer Chuggy!
Chuggy send angry but concise complaint
Chuggy also email complaint BBB
Chuggy no can be vindicated
Chuggy new mission ruin Chemistry.com!
Who want join Chuggy mission?

Chuggy have problem Chuggy no can solve
Chuggy no understand why Floyd so fat!
Floyd weigh 15 pounds!
Chuggy think HUGE!
Chuggy restrict Floyd cat food, but Floyd still lard ass
Chuggy wonder maybe Floyd eat dog food when Chuggy no looking

Chuggy eat bad salmon
Try take sick day
But no-
Chuggy boss decide want sick day too
Chuggy have go work
Too much work for Chuggy
Chuggy need vacation now

Chuggy no like box of shit
Why Chuggy get cat?
Floyd cute, but shit box foul
Chuggy wish better way
Maybe Chuggy train Floyd use toilet!
Chuggy hope better than train Floyd walk on leash

J and Ginger come Chuggy house last night for karaoke marathon!
Marathon beer drink too!
Chuggy no boogie before like boogie last night!
Chuggy sing oldies classic, 80's hits
Chuggy dancing machine!
Chuggy think have big future in sing karaoke
Make Chuggy rich!
J and Chuggy think take Louis Armstrong "Wonderful World" on road
Big success!
Chuggy tired now
Karaoke till 4 am fun, but Chuggy need beauty rest.

Chuggy want catch up Bruce
Bruce send Chuggy email
Tell Chuggy everything

Tarra,
Chuggy say take chance.
No can do worse than ex-husband!
LOL!!!
Chuggy kid Tarra.
What Tarra have lose beside Friday night?
Carpe Diem, Chuggy Say.

Chuggy exclaim, "HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!"
"BRUCE?!"
"FROM ST. ANDREWS?!"
Chuggy think amazing coincidence indeed!
Chuggy grammar improve when excited to hear from old friends.
Bruce Chuggy favorite old friend from New Orleans.
Chuggy and Bruce philosophize on swing set at recess.
Play long Risk games - hard to transport - pieces move.
Chuggy often wonder over years, "Where Bruce?"
Now Chuggy can know for sure.

Long time Chuggy no lift heavy thing, run fast
Chuggy need motivation
Maybe Chuggy ask Big Red be Chuggy workout partner
Then Chuggy no can miss lift heavy thing, run fast
Chuggy be accountable to something other than couch and TV.
Chuggy think best.
So, Big Red want run fast with Chuggy three days week? Lift heavy thing?
Meet half way at Alameda 24 hour Fitness?
5:00 pm?
Good.
Chuggy glad Big Red say yes.

Chuggy think Colonel need more protein-
Think Colonel need throw away high horse and eat meat like Chuggy.
Chuggy think maybe eat horse instead throw away.
Vegetarianism no can make happy.
Second, Colonel need meaning.
Maybe Colonel join Peace Corps or volunteer cat shelter?
Cats like Colonels
Three, Colonel need stop think about unhappy
What unhappy ever do for Colonel?

1787 Château Yquem Sauternes Bordeaux Rules Y'all!

Greetings all. Well, I must say that I believe this advice column idea of yours is a peach. As you may know, Chuggy, I experience few problems due to my extraordinarily even keel. Alas, even a self-possessed sort such as I occasionally falls prey to a bit of the sad sack's sydrome, if you understand my meaning. Ah, but she is a cruel wench, Depression, especially at this juncture of the solstice! Unlike many, who seem to experience doldrums during the slumber of winter snow and drear, summer is the time of year when I am reminded of my life's lack of adventure. How my spirit longs to be freed of suburbia and the binds of consumerism! Would that I could replace the complacency of years past with the passion for experience that both binds and drives those of a creative, romantic nature such as myself! Fear and desperation for food and shelter have led me to foolishly exchange the thrill of the unknown for security of the familiar. Pray tell, Chuggy, how do you keep boredom and the regret of roads not taken from metastasizing into depression?

By the way, I recently came across an amusing quote attributed to that cheeky fellow Annie Liebowitz: "Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine." I should think that my colleagues at the club would like to shake the whistle off this chap's mashie, indeed!

--Disemboguedly Depressed in Denver

Chuggy need write book
Coco say Chuggy need make spreadsheet first-
All Chuggy life in spreadsheet.
Chuggy try story tonight.
Chuggy think not bad.
Chuggy make write pathos.
Yes, Chuggy know what pathos is.
Chuggy think perhaps Chuggy maybe too long wind for be good book writer though anyway

Why sweep floor make Chuggy back hurt?
Clean tub even more bad
Chuggy think Chuggy body no work anymore
After 25 Chuggy think all over
How people live to 40, Chuggy no can know
Chuggy wonder what point is

Chuggy drive far, go visit friend new baby
Baby small and very pink!
Chuggy think baby no survive on own-
Baby lucky good mother have.
Baby has schedule like Chuggy-
Sleep - Eat - Burp - Poo - Sleep
Repeat
Chuggy like new baby

Chuggy have good idea!!!
Maybe Chuggy friends write Chuggy!
Chuggy friends ask for Chuggy advice!
Sure, Chuggy like give advice unsolicited-
But Chuggy think better if ask.

So, all Chuggy friends, even Chuggy no friends-
ask Chuggy anything.
No can hesitate.
Chuggy have all answers.
When Chuggy no have answers-
Chuggy just lie, say yes.
Chuggy can help.

Chuggy prepare for over 100 degree heat tomorrow
Chuggy know global warming can no be lie!
Chuggy ponder, why Denver so hot when summer?
So cold when winter?
Chuggy happy month of May only
Not too hot, not too cold
Chuggy obviously no have anything to say,
Talk weather
Now Chuggy boring on top everything else!

Chuggy want money back Chemistry.com
All Chuggy "matches" incompatible with Chuggy
Everyone want "slender", "athletic/toned"
Chuggy say "few extra pounds" more to love!
Make Chuggy feel big and small same time
Chuggy have no faith internet dating
Yet Chuggy try again and again
When Chuggy learn?
Chuggy no can meet online
Chuggy need meet in person,
Chuggy more charismatic in person
Chuggy just weird in profile

Chuggy want throw up when Chuggy hear Scooter sentence commuted
Who Bush think Bush is?
Chuggy think Bush criminal
Chuggy think all Bush friends criminal
All belong in jail
All should eat poo
Chuggy happy to feed the poo
Chuggy happy make poo too

Chuggy wake up bad headache
Why Chuggy no learn beer equal headache?
Why Chuggy?
Chuggy turn over new leaf
Chuggy just say no to beer
Chuggy like lemonade more anyway

Chuggy excited July 4!
Chuggy love holiday
No have buy gift,
No have work,
Only drink beer, eat meat, loud noise!
Pax and Herky no like loud July 4 noise

Home Depot exploit Chuggy desire for home improve
Offer Chuggy no payment, no interest 12 month
Chuggy think good, but Chuggy no can know
Maybe make Chuggy angry with 19% APR later
Chuggy get new floor, new cabinet, new window
Lucky for Chuggy, Chuggy get granite free-
Allow Chuggy live beyond Chuggy means
Chuggy like live beyond Chuggy means

Chuggy make ad Chemistry.com
Chuggy feel much shame
All Chuggy matches very ugly
Chuggy think as if
Chuggy kiss double income, chance for love goodbye
Chuggy have beer, Colonel, poo-eating animals for company
Chuggy think enough

Chuggy make plan go Cancun
Colonel and Chuggy swim up bar 8 days!!!
Chuggy think Chuggy bathing suit make Chuggy fat
But Chuggy no can care, Chuggy drunk
Chuggy think Chuggy no want come home,
Chuggy stay in Mexico, run Chuggy non-profit-
Viva Los Perros!
Does Chuggy impress with multi-lingual ability?

Chuggy think time to re-fi, build house more big
Chuggy worry about loan to value ratio
Why Chuggy want what Chuggy no can afford?
Chuggy need dual income
Chuggy think Chuggy need marry
Then Chuggy afford new bathroom, wood floors
Yes, Chuggy look for marry tomorrow

Chuggy watch season finale Sopranos
Chuggy angry
Chuggy think TV break when cut black
Chuggy learn screen black on purpose
Chuggy think stupid
Chuggy guess Chuggy just no sophisticated to understand

Chuggy want build house more big
Everyone say, Chuggy, cost $50,000
Chuggy angry, say NO! $10,000
Chuggy need learn frame
Need learn electric
Chuggy build Chuggy self
So what Chuggy no can measure,
No know how plumbing work
Chuggy work hard
Chuggy learn
Chuggy no can spend
Chuggy sweat

Chuggy up early
Pax make Chuggy wake
Pax need spanking for wake Chuggy
No, Chuggy kid Pax,
Chuggy no spank
Chuggy have grande vanilla half caf mocha latte frappucino,
Make Chuggy better
LOL!!!
Chuggy make sarcasm
Chuggy want poo on people drink stupid latte
Chuggy like plain coffee
Chuggy want talk, but no can call, wake friends
Too early
Why Pax?
Why no let Chuggy sleep?
Chuggy think if dog, no wake go work Saturday
Chuggy think, sleep all day! Eat poo! Lick butt! Chuggy happy!
Chuggy no want lick butt, Chuggy make point
Chuggy be clear, no want eat poo either

Chuggy no run fast, lift heavy thing at 5 am like promise
No day before
Or day before that
Or day before that

Chuggy no like wake up
Chuggy stay up late with Colonel,
Watch TV, eat cookie
Why Colonel make Chuggy eat Cookie?
Yes, Chuggy admit Chuggy buy cookie,
But only for Colonel come watch TV
Colonel make Chuggy angry if cookie eating continue
Colonel no want Chuggy look good
Colonel want Chuggy eat pizza and cookie and die alone
Colonel say Chuggy always have Colonel,
But no can know for sure
Maybe Colonel break head

Chuggy sorry Chuggy so busy
Chuggy boss leave again,
Chuggy left pick up pieces
Everybody want holiday,
Mean more work for Chuggy
Why all Chuggy's clients so demanding?

Chuggy think need more money
Or maybe boss need work more
Chuggy no have answers

Where's Chuggy?

Chuggy no want work tomorrow
Why Chuggy spend whole life working?
Chuggy no like work, Chuggy like TV
Chuggy have existential crisis if work continue
Chuggy need holiday

Chuggy wedding good behavior
Chuggy drink six beers, no more
Chuggy no fall over
Chuggy no throw up
Chuggy proud Chuggy so good

Chuggy try clean up good today for wedding
Chuggy friend Bill once say Chuggy legs like Croatian man
Chuggy think need shave today
No Chuggy fault Chuggy hairy

Chuggy friends tie knot tomorrow
Chuggy excited
Chuggy promise no embarrass friends,
No drink too much
But Chuggy cross fingers
LOL!!!
Make Chuggy wonder when Chuggy no alone anymore

Chuggy friend J call Chuggy epistemologist
Chuggy think, nice big word
Chuggy want know all, but Chuggy no like school
CHUGGY NO GO BACK TO SCHOOL!
While Chuggy know American psychodynamic theory,
J want Chuggy learn Marxist Humanism
J tell Chuggy not crazy, only alienated

Chuggy too busy
At work everybody need Chuggy
Need this, Chuggy!
Need that!
What about Chuggy needs?
Chuggy need take time for Chuggy
Tonight Chuggy watch TV, eat pizza with Colonel
Chuggy take care of Chuggy for change

Pax like wake Chuggy at 3:00 am, go outside
Sometimes Chuggy angry with Pax
Chuggy have no choice
Chuggy awake
What Chuggy do now?

Sometimes Chuggy drink too much, do things Chuggy regret
When Chuggy learn?

Chuggy new friend Floyd like Chuggy
Chuggy like Floyd but no like eat poo like Pax and Herky
Chuggy angry if poo eating continue
Pax and Herky need stop

Chuggy feel amorous
Chuggy like man from across pond
Man tell Chuggy, no further contact
Chuggy feel much regret
Chuggy think man come around
Chuggy kidding
Or is Chuggy?
Only Chuggy know for sure

Arms of Chuggy floppy noodles after lift heavy things
Chuggy new friend Jen proud Chuggy try hard
Chuggy think first day of rest life

Chuggy seek new paradigm
Chuggy think self need improve
Chuggy take first step
Chuggy lift heavy things, run fast
Chuggy no eat again, no watch TV
Chuggy no must procrastinate
If better, Chuggy no die alone
Chuggy no like die alone

Chuggy no like text message
Technology make Chuggy angry
Chuggy try fit in though
Chuggy need learn

Chuggy no responsible idea expressed by Chuggy
If want unsubscribe letters from Chuggy, give Chuggy few days to process
Chuggy no want crush skull if unsubscribe